Wedding or Matrimony (IV)

Theognoto

Here we arrive, therefore, to a reflection space. What practice lesson can we take of that was exposed behind ? For which ethics we should choose? It will be necessary, as consequence expected, to define the behavior of the husbands face to the daily matrimonial realities. Let us soften the doctrinal tone of this theme appreciating, to the mode of humorous parable, a placement enough interesting.

Somewhere and times ago, a virtuous confessor asked a youth bride that kind of relationship she intended in the family behavior; if only ONE, if between TWO or if with THREE participants? Confused the girl wondered afraid: how can the relationships of a couple be understood with only one participant? And still more perplexed she cogitated on the meaning, in the priest's mouth, of the statement "a relationship including three actors"? Would, the old religious man, be insinuating an improper loving triangle?

Noticing the hesitation in her face, and with rare softness acquired in long and server years, the reverend, taking a potato and three toothpicks, states explicitly the message. Spiting in the potato only one thorn he tryed in vain to maintain it firmly on the table only supported in the pick. It was impossible. It always fell. He nailed one more thorn and retook the experience; this time, for fleeting moments, the set rehearsed a precarious balance, but it always tumbled. Finally, with the aid of the third spike and after skilled manipulation, he can reach the objective.

Explaining patiently he said then. You saw here, my daughter, the three relationships types I referred. When one of the partners, in a predominant and absorbent way, assumes the center of the attentions in the family, we have the relationship of only ONE. He (she) thinks that his (her) word are uncontested law and it is imposed in an authoritarian way. The two actors don't have, like this, the life balance sought. But, when they try a "love dribble" in the social and mundane ambit, although they agree in almost everything, they won't achieve durable situations; the danger of disagreements and misconduct ends up leading them to the bankruptcy of the social contract. It would be like this a relationship only among the TWO. Finally, when the spouses (the first two picks) assume the need of the help of a "tertius" (the third toothpick) and choose "this pick" like point of support, they get to reach the wanted success. It is the relationship in THREE.

And which would this support be? Remember that the sacred bow of the union between a man and a woman is the divine "yoke". Matched under the same "weight" they need a "plow operator" that knows how to stimulate them appropriately - in the united effort - so that it results effective. It is, now you can understand, Jesus Christ this effective "tertius". If they aren't conscious of such fact , the husbands will fall, unfortunately, in the allure of a sybarite and pleased life; where the social attractions of fame, power and sex , easily will divert them of the true meaning of the Matrimony.

And, with a blessing, he finished with judicious words: these are the advices that I judge opportune to give to you , now that you get ready for the decisive step of your life, my daughter. God be always with you. And that the Virgin Mother's mantle involves you in Her Love shield, so that the Lord be praised in all the doings that you undertake.

AMDG